Victim or Victor: Which one are you?

Life is so unfair. How can I be going through all these? Why am I suffering? What have I done wrong to go through these? The people do not love me, no one is on my side, they do not understand me. I do not deserve to be going through this. I have not done anything wrong to be treated like this, how can they do this to me? Life is just so unfair.

Most of us like lamenting about our life situations we complain a lot and love to play victim of every circumstance. We thrive off this very victim hood to seek attention and support or to be heard. We think we are so innocent and we should not be going through most of the challenges we face and that there is probably a mistake somewhere or it’s the faults in our stars or the people are just unfair: especially when we have done good things and then get ill-treated, we think oh no this cannot be happening at least not to me, how can this be. What we are essentially saying is that there are people who deserve to go through what you are going through but just not you.

Playing victim was and is never a solution to any problem not in the past life and certainly not in this life and for sure not in the life to come. Anybody who plays victim ends up suffering even more and end up in depression which most likely will lead to suicide but anyone who plays victor end up overcoming their challenges and have a better life.

Let’s take two examples we start with Job; this guy suddenly underwent some terrible staff most of which I don’t think any of us has ever gone through and he quickly started playing victim, grumbling that he is innocent, righteous and does not deserve to go through what he was going through until came this young man called Elihu and he made job realize that actually he was just playing victim.

Example number 2 is King David, this guy also underwent fair share of troubles and challenges in his early life including living like an exile yet not one given point did he play victim but in all situations he played victor and was able to overcome all his problems and was able to even write the psalms.

The point is very simple yet so difficult;

Victim mentality – blame game, excuses and denial

Victor mentality – ownership, accountability and responsibility

The choice is always in your hands. Don’t expect to come out strong and better if you have a victim mentality. A state where it’s always what the others have done against you or what the world has done against you but you don’t put your energy to grow up, own and lead yourself, be that what you are supposed to be and stop blaming, complaining and grumbling.

Every test in our life makes us bitter or better

Every problem comes to break us or make us

The choice is ours whether we become victims or victors

"Its a human tendency to blame others before reflecting on one self, but if you do, you will never find the real cause of the problem and there will be no real improvement"

                                                                                                         Daisaku Ikeda

When all Hope is Gone

Is there anything good left? Are there any good men or women anymore? will I ever make it? This stuff is too hard I don’t think I will ever manage to do it. Will I ever get married? Will I ever have children? Will things ever get better? Let’s just call it quits and we all go our way. There is no hope in whatever we are doing.

Life is hard today, life is tricky, the life we live in today has a lot of hopelessness. Things seem to go from bad to worse. So many problems and issues coming up, broken marriages and relationships, family disputes, insecurity, joblessness, lies, pretenders, fake churches, fake news, fake friends, fake goods and items, corrupted food, dangerous foods, corruption, immorality on the rise, and the list goes on.

What are we going to do? Will my life be any better? It is certain that I am going to be in the same place as the rest. It is how it is so we just live like the rest are living. Many people have lost hope in this life. Nothing has a meaning anymore and life does not make sense anymore. they do not realize they have a purpose to fulfill in this life. It’s another day another struggle, another challenge, another day to try and survive.

There is a light in the end of the tunnel. All is not lost, all is not bad, all cannot go wrong do you know why? because you who wants it to be better exists, you who wish for things to be good are still alive, you who believe that relationships can last a lifetime are being that good partner, you who believe that all is possible, can do something to make it possible, you who wish to have a good marriage that lasts, you are here to ensure that happens. You who is reading this right now I believe you are the hope you wish to see and experience.

All is not lost, when people like you still exist, all is not lost when we who believe in the creator exist. All is not lost if we who put our trust in God can do all things through Christ Jesus and nothing can be impossible if only we submit to Christ. Hope does not come from education, money, wealth or material resource but rather hope comes from the heart. Whatever you believe so it shall be. If you believe it is possible you will make it possible, if you believe there is nothing to be done so it shall remain.

H – holding

O – on

P – patiently

E - everyday

Hope is the belief of things to come, they only come if you work towards them. If you let go of your doubt and trust God who makes all things happen. The reason the world is hard, tough and worse is because of our own selfishness and evil. We do not submit to God and thus we expect things to go well, no they won’t.  Jesus is the light at the end of the tunnel, in fact, to live in hope you have to walk his way because He said He is the way and the truth.

“There is no hope where there is no truth, but where truth lies all hope is present.”

Do not loose hope, why should you? Many have passed through this life and made it, what is stopping you from being one of them? What is stopping you from living the life you were called to live? hopelessness is a state of mind you decide what it’s going to be hope or hopeless!!