Victim or Victor: Which one are you?

Life is so unfair. How can I be going through all these? Why am I suffering? What have I done wrong to go through these? The people do not love me, no one is on my side, they do not understand me. I do not deserve to be going through this. I have not done anything wrong to be treated like this, how can they do this to me? Life is just so unfair.

Most of us like lamenting about our life situations we complain a lot and love to play victim of every circumstance. We thrive off this very victim hood to seek attention and support or to be heard. We think we are so innocent and we should not be going through most of the challenges we face and that there is probably a mistake somewhere or it’s the faults in our stars or the people are just unfair: especially when we have done good things and then get ill-treated, we think oh no this cannot be happening at least not to me, how can this be. What we are essentially saying is that there are people who deserve to go through what you are going through but just not you.

Playing victim was and is never a solution to any problem not in the past life and certainly not in this life and for sure not in the life to come. Anybody who plays victim ends up suffering even more and end up in depression which most likely will lead to suicide but anyone who plays victor end up overcoming their challenges and have a better life.

Let’s take two examples we start with Job; this guy suddenly underwent some terrible staff most of which I don’t think any of us has ever gone through and he quickly started playing victim, grumbling that he is innocent, righteous and does not deserve to go through what he was going through until came this young man called Elihu and he made job realize that actually he was just playing victim.

Example number 2 is King David, this guy also underwent fair share of troubles and challenges in his early life including living like an exile yet not one given point did he play victim but in all situations he played victor and was able to overcome all his problems and was able to even write the psalms.

The point is very simple yet so difficult;

Victim mentality – blame game, excuses and denial

Victor mentality – ownership, accountability and responsibility

The choice is always in your hands. Don’t expect to come out strong and better if you have a victim mentality. A state where it’s always what the others have done against you or what the world has done against you but you don’t put your energy to grow up, own and lead yourself, be that what you are supposed to be and stop blaming, complaining and grumbling.

Every test in our life makes us bitter or better

Every problem comes to break us or make us

The choice is ours whether we become victims or victors

"Its a human tendency to blame others before reflecting on one self, but if you do, you will never find the real cause of the problem and there will be no real improvement"

                                                                                                         Daisaku Ikeda